The Real Reason Your Networking Isn’t Working

The Real Reason Your Networking Isn’t Working

"It’s not about how many people you meet. It’s about how many people remember why they met you."

Let me guess.
You’ve been showing up. Attending events. Making small talk, Swapping cards (or LinkedIn scans). And yet… nothing really happens.

No new business. No referrals. No momentum.

And before long, you start wondering if networking is a waste of time.
Here’s the truth: 'it is — unless you change how you approach it.'

The Networking Trap: Activity Without Intention

Too many people confuse *busyness* with *effectiveness*. They collect contacts like they’re Pokémon cards. Attend events just to say they were there. Post the odd “Great to meet so-and-so” on LinkedIn.

But ask them who follows up, what was discussed, or what the next step is… and you get a blank look.

"Networking without structure isn’t strategy — it’s social loitering."

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So, Why Isn’t It Working?

Here’s what I’ve found after 40+ years in business and marketing (offline and on):

1. No filter
You’re talking to everyone… instead of identifying *the right* people to build with.

2. No follow-up
You meet once, and expect magic to happen. It doesn’t.

3. No focus 
You haven’t clearly defined what a good introduction looks like or how others can help you.

4. No framework
There’s no process. No system. No intention behind the conversations.

Sound familiar?

The Shift: From Networking to Relationship Building

**Here’s the reframe:**
Stop networking.
Start building relationships — strategically.

Here’s how I coach people to do it:

1. Filter First, 

Not everyone at the event is your person.

Ask:
- Who serves the same audience as me?
- Who has credibility in a space I want to enter?
- Who do I genuinely enjoy talking to?

Strategic partners aren’t always customers. But they are doors to opportunity.

2. Follow Up Fast

The value of a great conversation is in the follow-up.
Simple rules:
- Send a thank-you or connection note within 24 hours.
- Add a memory or detail from your chat — it shows care.
- Suggest a next step, even if it’s just a virtual coffee.

Relationships deepen through small touches, not grand gestures.

3. Frame Your Value Clearly
Stop saying “I do a bit of everything.”
Start saying: "A great introduction for me is someone who’s frustrated that their website isn’t bringing in leads."

Make it easy for others to refer you. Speak in *problems solved*, not titles or services.

The Relationship Rhythm

Think of your network like a garden.
You don’t just plant once and hope.
You water. You weed. You check in.

Likewise:
- Comment on their posts.
- Share something useful.
- Celebrate their wins.
- Refer *them* when you can.

This isn’t about being transactional — it’s about being valuable.

Final Thought: People Open Doors for People They Trust

Networking isn’t dead. It’s just been badly taught.

When you build trust, show up consistently, and stay top-of-mind for the *right* people, doors open.

Not because you asked. But because you earned it.

Want help building your referral-generating network?
Let’s talk.
👉 Book a short call with me